How can you be so complicit?

I’m unsure how to title this, so I’m going to wing it and try later.

I wonder what the other person thinks when they become the other parent. As in you marry or date into a co parent situation. What do you think if you’re single and kid less going into a coparent relationship? Are you all in, try to vibe with your significant other?

Recently, I was made aware of some coparents making the comments regarding “it’s not their responsibility to do that. “They shouldn’t have to do that.”

While I think it’s noble and I get it, why go into the situation if you as a coparent aren’t fully invested? Why change a kids life if you don’t intend on trying to be their cheerleader, motivator, or confidante?

Why include someone in your family dynamic if they aren’t willing to take on responsibilities or if you’re not willing to give them responsibilities?

I need help comprehending this because I would never bring someone into my kids’ lives who don’t treat them like their own or expect the same out of me. Who doesn’t go hard in treating them with respect but also trying to guide them?!

I don’t even want adults in my personal life who don’t bring anything to the table as a friend or an adult that my kids can rely on.

I can tell if you’re not committed. I can read your energy, I can read your attitude (which I’ll call you on), and I can read your body language. 

Don’t interact with my kids if your heart isn’t in it. We’ve got a small circle, and your bullshit or fake niceness isn’t needed.

If you aren’t whole heartedly committed to improving the lives of the kids, don’t come around. This goes hard for people in the parents & coparents world. Family included. If you want to sit back and be complicit with the lack or respect and believe everything at face value, you deserve no space in the kids lives. Plain as day. Why should you get access when you’re working against a parent or both parents? Why should you get access if you refuse to hold someone accountable?